{{{onnected Ronnie.
Hello, this is Ronnie Dobbs of the Hastings UFO Society.
We have decided to give our UFO report to the Internet, 'cause Contact could happen at any time.
We will try to cover stuff in our report which should come in handy, should such a portentious event take place. And, we'll also be featuring Helpful Handy Hints for UFO watchers, such as how to attract a UFO to your own back yard with used tires.
Thank you.